My Big, Horrible, Scary Adventure!

OMG!  You will never believe what happened to me yesterday!  In fact, if I had known it was going to happen, I would never have got out of bed.  But the day started out just like any other day -- well, except that Gabe peed in Mom's bed again -- so I was fooled into thinking that it was going to be just a regular day.

So anyway, we got up and some of us went out to potty, and Mom gave us Breakfast of Dogs, and then some of us went out to potty again or else maybe for the first time or maybe just to see what was going on outside and if there were any cicadas to eat.  And I went out to pee and poop on the patio, kind of around on the side, and then when I went back to the door, it was LOCKED and I was left out there in the yard all by myself!

This exact same thing has happened to me twice before when Mom didn't know I was still in the yard and she closed the back door.  And both of the other times it was when we had our chainlink fence, so I was forced to climb over it and go around to the front of the house.  And when I got there, my brothers saw me through the front windows, and they got very excited and started barking and stuff.  So Mom came to see what was going on, and she found me at the front door, and she let me come back in the house.

Then after that, Mom was a little more careful about trying to make sure all the dogs were in the house before she closed the door.  And usually it's Mel who is the last one to come in because he likes to wander around in the yard looking for poop to eat, but sometimes it's me who's the last one.  And that's exactly what happened today because I was out there pooping, which Mom didn't realize.  So she shut the door, and she went upstairs to do a bunch of totally unimportant stuff like get dressed and look at her email, and meanwhile I was stuck out there in the back yard, all alone!

And right away, I started feeling panicky because I didn't know how to get back in the house, which is where I wanted to be.  So I tried scratching on the door, but nobody came to open it.  And then I tried whimpering and crying, but nobody heard me.  And after that, I realized that what I had to do was go around to the front door because that worked before when I got left out in the back yard.

Except back then we had that nice chainlink fence that was pretty easy to climb, and now we have a tall wood fence.  So I checked the gates, and they were closed and I pawed at them, and they didn't come open.  And then I saw that there was kind of a space under one of the gates, so I made myself very, very flat and skinny, and I wiggled my way out of the yard!

Then I trotted around to the front door, but nobody was there to see me!  My brothers weren't even looking out the windows, which is what they should have been doing because it's their job to guard the house.  So then I really didn't know what to do!  And I went down the driveway, and I sort of wandered down the street a little ways, like Mom and I do when she takes me out to potty, because I thought maybe if I did that, Mom would magically appear, but she didn't.

It was scary out in the street, and it made me nervous being there, and I felt horrible and scared like when I used to be a Poor, Homeless Dog in Houston.  But then one of our neighbors came out of her house because she saw me out in the street.  And this neighbor's name is Shirley, and she likes to rescue cats and do that trap, neuter, release thing with feral cats.  But she's a nice person, even if she likes cats better than dogs.  So she talked to me, but I didn't let her touch me because I don't know her very well, and she walked down to my house, and I followed her.

And meanwhile, Mom finished doing all her email and stuff, and she went downstairs, and she was going to give treats to all of us dogs, but there were only three dogs there!  So Mom thought she must have shut me up in the bedroom because sometimes she does that because I like to hide under the bed.  But when she went back upstairs to the bedroom, I wasn't there!  

Then Mom thought she must have left me out in the yard, which is exactly what she did, but when she looked out there, she didn't see me because I wasn't there anymore.  And Mom went and looked at both gates to make sure they were closed, which they were.  And just when she came back in the house, someone knocked on the door, and it was Aunt Shirley!  And Mom came to the door, and Aunt Shirley said "Is this one of your dogs?" and Mom said yes and that she had just figured out that she couldn't find me anywhere.  Then Mom came and picked me up, and she and Aunt Shirley decided I must have squeezed out under the gate.  And Aunt Shirley said I didn't look very happy wandering around out there.  Then Mom took me inside, and my horrible ordeal was over, and I spent the rest of the day resting up.  Whew!