Mom says I am in the doghouse, but we don't even own a doghouse, so what she means is that I am in deep doo-doo, and if we did have a doghouse, she would probably make me go live in it. Here's the reason that Mom is not happy with me. Except that actually there are two reasons.
Reason #1:
Saturday night I peed on Mom's bed while she was doing email, and I got her bedspread and blanket and sheets wet. But I had a good reason for peeing there, and it was because on Saturday, like I told you before, it snowed all day long. But I was a good girl and went out in the snow to potty several times, so at bedtime, Mom thought I didn't need to potty. She knew that Gabe needed to potty, though, because he hadn't been outside all day because he is such a wimp. So Mom stuck a leash on Gabe and just opened the front door, and Gabe went outside and peed on the front step. But Mom didn't take me out to potty on a leash because she thought I would go out in the back yard on my own and do it if I needed to. But I didn't go out there. I peed on the bed instead.
Mom had been meaning to change the sheets on the bed anyway, but she kept putting it off, so really I did her a favor by forcing her to go ahead and change the sheets and wash them all, too, and what's so terrible about that?
Reason #2:
Sunday morning while Mom was doing email again, I chewed a hole in her new pink blanket that she bought at an estate sale and that she just put on the bed for the first time Saturday night after I peed on her other blanket. Sometimes Mom is not sure who chewed something up, but this time she caught me in the act with the blankie between my paws. And that's why I couldn't really deny that I was the one who made the hole.
So anyway, those are the two reasons why I am in the doghouse, and even though it's just an imaginary doghouse in Mom's mind, I hope she will forgive me pretty soon and let me come out again.
Last night I even got in bed with Mom and snuggled up with her, which I hardly ever do, but I needed to remind her how sweet and endearing I am, and how much she loves me, so she will let me out of the doghouse!
But while we are talking about phrases that have "dog" in them, I will also mention the phrase "It's a dog's life." This is a very old phrase that was already being used in the 16th century, and it means that dogs live bad and unhappy lives. Which was probably very true in the 16th century because most dogs didn't get to come in the house and sleep in bed with their humans and eat dog food out of a can. But nowadays, lots of dogs have better lives, so "a dog's life" is not always such a terrible thing.
Mom says she would like to live a dog's life if she could live like the four of her dogs do. But I think our lives are not as cushy and perfect as she seems to think they are. For example, we have to go outside to potty, even if it's cold or snowing or raining. If we really lived a nice life like Mom thinks we do, we could just potty in a nice place like on the bed or on the rug.
Anyway, as long as I am in the doghouse, I guess I had better not complain too much.
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