BODY ARMOR, by Mel

Yesterday I had to go to Dr. Patricia's office, and it was a very stressful and unnerving experience, like visits to her office usually are.  As soon as I got in the car with Mom, my back legs started shaking, and I couldn't make them stop.  And then when we got there, my legs were shaking even harder, in spite of the fact that Mom and Nurse Debbie kept giving me treats.

The reason I had to go to Dr. Patricia's office was that I had to get a heartworm test, plus also a fecal test.  And then it turned out that I hadn't had a complete blood panel for three years, so Mom decided I should get one of those, too, even though she is feeling broke because it's the end of the month, and she didn't want to pay for it.  Oh, and I got weighed and had my toenails trimmed, and Dr. Patricia examined me.

Mostly I was pretty good, except when Dr. Patricia was looking in my mouth at my teeth, which she was trying to do even though I was wearing a muzzle.  So I got freaked out and tried to bite her, but I was not successful because of the muzzle and also because Nurse Debbie was holding me.  But otherwise, I was a good boy and did not try to bite anybody.

Finally, when the whole ordeal was over, and Mom and I got to go home.  But I started thinking that it would be useful for a timid dog such as myself to have some sort of protective armor to wear when he has to go to the vet's office.  So I did a little research online to see what I could come up with.

In this photo, you can see the Brewster Body Shield, which was developed during World War I.  It was made of chrome nickel steel, which was apparently very strong, because it could protect a person from machinegun bullets.  I thought maybe this armor would work for a dog, but then I read that it weighs 40 pounds, which is more than I weigh!  So even though I think the Brewster Body Shield would safely protect me from pokes and prods and needles at the vet's office, I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to walk around if I were wearing it.

So then I did a search on armor that was specially designed for dogs, and I came up with some good possibilities.  Here's a suit of samurai dog armor that I think would make me look very handsome.

And here's some armor with a more medieval look that would provide good protection, I think.

Now I just have to figure out how to measure myself so I can get the right size.