MAYBE IT'S NOT SO BAD HERE by Charlie

If you will remember, the last time I wrote to you, I was feeling rather like a prisoner and was wishing mightily for a way to escape.  I even had to sneak out of my room in the middle of the night so I could write in Piper's blog.  But I will admit to you that I am feeling somewhat better now -- in fact, almost "at home," in a manner of speaking.

Of course, the ideal thing would be to go back to the way things were at our other house, where Chloe and I lived with our real mom, who fed us liberally and loved us very, very much.  But I am told that's not possible because our real mom is dead.  So now we live with our foster mom (FM) who, I am sorry to say, continues to try to starve us.  I still have the impression that I am wasting away, and that before long, I will be nothing but skin and bones.  Already I have lost four pounds, and while this seems to make our FM happy, for some absurd reason, I cannot rejoice about it at all.

And to add insult to injury, she feeds us from a dish with a DOG image in the bottom of it!  I guess she thinks we are too stupid -- or too hungry -- to take note of this indignity.  But I'm here to tell you that we are not nearly as dumb as she believes we are.

In other respects, though, this house has turned out to be at least moderately acceptable.  The beds are soft, and the litter boxes get scooped out daily.  I hate it when FM runs the vacuum, but at least she doesn't run it for very long.  The dogs are not really mean to us, although I still don't trust that one called Gabe, and I hiss at him whenever he gets too close.  I want to make sure he understands that I outweigh him and also have sharper claws.

Speaking of which, FM has started doing some stuff lately that I'm not too keen on, such as clipping my claws.  She also brushes me, which I don't mind as much, since it does help somewhat with the hairball thing.  Sometimes she wipes my butt with these little wet wiping things that are especially designed for wiping pet bottoms.  Whatever will they think of next?  Anyway, I have to say that getting your butt wiped is totally embarrassing, and I really hate it when FM does that to me.  She says that if I would clean myself up properly, like cats are supposed to do, she wouldn't have to use the wipes on me.  Frankly, I think the condition of my butt is my own personal business, and she has no right to mess with it!

Now that Chloe and I are coming out of our room more often, we are getting a chance to explore the house more thoroughly.  Chloe really likes to go in the office and sit in FM's chair, or in FM's lap.  FM complains that it is hard for her to type when there is a cat hanging on her arm or butting her hand, but I think FM should just deal with it and stop griping.

My own favorite thing to do is to go downstairs in the evenings when FM and the dogs are watching TV.  I check out everything that is down there, and lately I've even tried sitting in FM's lap a bit.  She says she likes this, and I find it enjoyable since her lap is warm, and she pets me a lot.

At night, I have tried to sleep on top of FM, but she says I am too heavy.  She particularly doesn't like it when I walk across her stomach.  She will tolerate me curling up next to her, but I usually don't stay there too long.  I end up going back to my room and sleeping there.  Chloe also likes to sleep with FM, but she doesn't try to sleep on top of FM, so she doesn't get shoved off, like I do.  Chloe sleeps beside FM, but on the side where FM needs to get out of bed if she has to go to the bathroom during the night (which she usually does), and this makes FM a bit grumbly.

Anyway, like I said, this is starting to feel more like a real home to Chloe and me, so that's kind of nice.  Some of FM's friends keep asking her if she is going to adopt us, but so far she has said no.  I think she might be considering it, though.  And if she did, I guess it wouldn't be the worst thing that ever happened to a cat.  I sure would hate to go through the whole scary business of moving to a new home again!